Are You Listening?

When I am seeking God for an answer.... Well no that is not quite right.
 

When I should be seeking God for an answer.... I am often seeking an answer, not God. I am often trying to solve a problem and hope God will barge through my thoughts. I am thinking , pondering, analyzing from every angle. The thoughts fast, furious, and stressed.

Last week I slowed down and realized He was speaking, I just wasn't paying attention. His still small voice will not drown out the barrage of my thinking. I have to do that.

I was out in the field where I help my friend garden. Thoughts were racing through about schedules, friends with cancer, relationships, finances - life. In the midst I kept signing the words to the chorus of a country song. "That's my job, that's what I do. Everything I do is because of you, to keep you safe with me. That's my job you see." I was getting pretty annoyed. I wanted answers, solutions.

Back to pondering and trying to figure things out. After a couple of hours my thoughts had run out -part of why I so enjoy working over there.

Then I heard the still small voice. "That's my job, that's what I do. Everything I do is because of you, to keep you safe with me. That's my job you see. I have been signing this to you. I will take care of you, it's my job. Everything will be okay. Better than okay."

I thanked Him for continuing to speak until I finally listened. I thanked Him for taking care of me and all that concerns me.

The song was no longer running through my head. A new song was there, Kentucky Rain. I guess you can tell I grew up on country music! I was singing it wrong I learned, but I believe I was singing it right from the Father.

The words I sang the rest of the day were "Love keeps pourin' down like the ol' Kentucky rain." My husband found it on YouTube later. The song is about a lost love. The singer is pursing their love even out in the dark, cold rain, vowing not to stop until they are found.
 

I bask in the knowledge that God did and still does pursue me the same way.

How do you hear from God?
Are you willing to listen for Him to speak in new ways?
I would love to hear from you about how He encourages and directs you.

Recap

Dream. Vision. Purpose. Destiny.
 

These have become buzz words in our culture and even in our churches. Good ideas are not always Biblical ideas. I have been trying to find the Biblical view. I am still working on it. Before I go on I thought I would revisit what I have learned. 

What I've learned:

• It's not all about me, it 's not about me at all really. It is about God, his purposes, his ways, his Kingdom.
• It is about me. God designed and knew me before the foundations of the earth. He chose for me to live in this time with this family with every strength, weakness, talent, gift and personality trait I possess. Jesus suffered and died for my deliverance, so no weapon formed against me can prosper.
• I guess what I have learned is that I need to focus on God and He will focus on me. That is a great trade, if you understand who God is. If the thought of God focusing on you makes you a little queasy, nervous, or think "I'll pass, thanks" you don't know how God thinks when he focuses on you. I strongly encourage you to find out what he is really like. I am certainly in the process of moving my knowledge of him from my head to my heart so I truly believe instead of just knowing how good he is. That is the focusing on him. Look in his word. Listen to his voice. Be willing to let go of what you thought or felt that does not line up with scripture.

 Okay, back to what I have learned.

• A dream can be an idol, even if we think we are pursing God's dream for us.
• How we process hurts, failures, and disappointments from the past impact our ability and willingness to dream in the future.
• Dead dreams stink.
• Dreaming takes faith.
• The hope must always be in God not the dream or the anticipated results.

As I continue on I still have two big questions: "What is God's perspective on dreaming?" I feel like I have the idea, but not the scriptures. And "What specific dreams does God have for me?"

Do you have any questions about dreaming? Any insights to share?

Questioning: Who Am I?

Who do I want to be?
Who am I made to be?
What are my passions?
What are my talents?
Where is my voice?
What is my purpose?
What does it look like?

I can remember doing sketches like this one since junior high. I can picture specific ones, even a college art project full of questions. At first this was not a happy thought. I was quite discouraged to be swimming, maybe wallowing, in a sea of questions, again. Some of the same questions, still.

At almost 40 years old I'm seeing for the first time that perhaps questioning is just part of the way I am. I'm a thinker. I'm a planner. I've always felt wrong for all my questions I've always felt I should have the answers. I guess like question were bad if I didn't have the answer. I wouldn't be much of a thinker or a planner if I didn't see things that needed answers, would I?

It's not bad to have the question and no answer. It's wrong to dwell on the question without seeking the answer (wallowing - which would be why I was discouraged? Have been over the years?).

I thought I personally needed to supply the answer, like it wouldn't be okay to find the answer or get help with finding answers. Of course there is no way I can have all the answers to the questions I ask. I have God given resources all around, and within me. I am not enough by myself.

Seeing this thinking about questioning being wrong, needing to have all the answers written out it is obviously wrong. Having it within me I hadn't even seen it.

Jesus said "I am the way." The way where? Well to heaven, to eternal life. So much more than that, too. He is the way to answer my questions. He is the answer to my questions. He created me. He has plans for me, good ones! If he has plans that would be the answers I'm looking for.

Holy Spirit has sealed me and lives inside me. He knows all the plans for me. He is always communicating the Father's thoughts to my spirit. I have to learn to listen, choose to listen, chose to respond.

I believe seeing questions and seeking answers as part of my make up is another part of knowing my identity so I can pursue God's dreams for me.

Is there something about your personality that has frustrated you? Ask God about His intentions for that trait. Satan loves to twist our God given strengths and gifts to our destruction. Brought back under God's plan they will be part of reaching our destiny.

I'd love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below.

This post is part of my One Word 2013 series. To read more search Dream on this blog.

Looking at Family Relationships

Strong people skills is one of those things that I have always said is a priority in educating my children. It is also a priority I feel I am falling short of all too often.

Today we started a project to evaluate our family relationships. The idea came from Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes... in you and your kids by Turansky and Miller. 

Each family has more relationships than we may realize at first glance. 5 family members is not 5 or even 10 relationships.

We began by putting each family member's name on the white board. To make it a little more fun everyone got their own color. We included God, so we have 6 people in our relationship map.

Next each person is connected to every other person. We drew their relationships in their color.

We are also in relationship with ourselves. That is 6 relationships per 6 people for 36 relationships! Give yourself some grace, that's a lot to manage!

We talked briefly about only being able to directly control your relationship with someone, not their relationship to you. We can influence another to improve their relationship with us, but not control their response.

The writing assignment was:
List everything good about one relationship. 

What needs improving in that same relationship?
What could I do to work toward making this relationship what I would like it to be?

We'll do one a day until we've gone through them all, including our relationship with ourselves.

 

My hope is we will each see insights into individual relationships by examining them one at a time. 

We'll have more discussion and hopefully set some goals of things to improve on while realizing there is good in every relationship, even if they sometimes hurt us or frustrate us.  With younger children simply talk through the concept. It's easy to see how we relate differently to each member of our family if we pause to look at it.

How do you help your children work on relationships?

Let the Wind Blow: Revisit and Update

Maybe it the season. Maybe it's about dreaming.
I want to share this post again. The original portion was two years ago, updated a few months later.

A post about a storm in my life... (read the post by clicking the link below)
 Let the Wind Blow: I originally posted this in April. I really need the reminder today as the clean up continues. God is faithful, in him I put my trust. ...

April 2013
The winds of that storm rarely gust anymore. A great measure of healing has come. Most of the big trees survived and are doing well, some we're still loving and praying for recovery. I feel we're in a long winter. It's hard to tell about the flowers and the gardens. I long for spring. I long for big projects and improvements, but sense it will only be a season of cleaning, repairing, mending - being faithful in small things before larger things are revealed.

New winds are stirring. I pray for warm, encouraging south winds. I know there are cold, harsh north winds. This creates the whirlwind to transform me to His image.

While I long to see the end result I will choose to be content knowing I am on the Rock that will not be shaken though all else is shaken.

Processing a Dead Dream

What does processing a dead dream look like? The process needs the right tools and the right environment for healing. Dead dreams must be dealt with so we are no longer defined by them and so we don’t stink. I’m no expert but here’s what I’ve got so far.

1. Grieve.

2. Repent if needed.

3. Refocus on God. Remember God’s promises, they haven’t changed.

4. Seek wisdom.

5. If it was a dream from God ask for a resurrection. If not ask for a new dream.

Grieve. Every dream that dies is a loss, likely more than one. Going through the process of what we lost, or perceive we lost, can teach us a lot about ourselves, our faith, and our relationship with God. Grieving may reveal people we need to forgive – ourselves, others, and even God. It may also reveal places we were off track in which case we must…

Repent. Sometimes we go after God’s dreams our way, or in our time. I’ve often told my children doing the right thing at the wrong time is wrong. It’s true for us, too. We need to repent of going on our own schedule. Maybe it was entirely our dream. Then we need to repent of going our own way. We get back on track by…

Refocusing on God: Our identity, our worth, everything is in Him alone. Deeper understanding and believing of this truth will anchor us through our healing. He is faithful. He keeps his promises. Life will not be perfect, but He is. Praise Him with a truly grateful heart for the blessings you have, even when a dream has died.

Seek wisdom. God’s wisdom can reveal ways He is working even the death of your dream for your good and His glory. Dead dreams still speak to you; or rather Satan speaks for them. They accuse us, remind us of failure. They speak lies against the character of God and His promises. They make circumstances seem more real than the promises of God. Learn from your experiences with dead dreams.  True friends and God can give you wisdom for next time.

Part of processing a dead dream is to see which part of it was God’s. Maybe God’s part of the dream was the mission and the vehicle was or own thinking.

The process of dealing with disappointment, discouragement and disillusionment is to replace them -one of the great mysteries of the Kingdom. We trace disappointment for God’s appointment. We trade discouragement for God’s courage. We trade disillusionment for God’s hope and purpose. I’ll write about how to do that next week.

I'd love to hear how you have dealt with your dead dreams.

What's in My Heart?

I want my children to know and experience the God of heaven. God who cares about them enough to speak to them. One way He speaks is in our imagination, through words or pictures. Listening for His voice takes practice and discernment. This is an exercise we do from time to time. I've used it in classes of children as well as with my own. It can be a great opportunity to connect and minster to their needs.
We made a very simple book of folded paper (8.5 x 14) stapled at the edge, no cover, no binding. I love the creative options of making books, but today the focus was on our hearts. 

We looked at what was in our heart and entered it in our newly made journal.

I saw doubts, failure, and confusion raining down.

Then we asked God how he saw our hearts and entered that in our journal.

God saw he sent blessings as water for me to grow and all is for His glory.

 

I drew and wrote. One son writes, one draws. My daughter draws.

Heart of negative emotions, but God sees a strong man of God.

How they saw their heart.

How God saw their heart.

Holding onto Rest

I shared a wonderful, restful weekend with my husband of 18 years. The plan was to do nothing; at least unless we decided we wanted to do something.

It was wonderful to rest, no cooking, no schedule, no cleaning, no interruptions, just rest. So peaceful.

As it neared time to return home, back to schedules and responsibility I could feel my peace slipping away. The worry of being able to get everything done was attacking. Really the knowledge of not being able to get everything done; so the worry of choosing right to get the most important things done was assaulting my peace.

How am I still here?

 I know there is no faith in worry. It’s fear.

I know there is no fear in love.

My focus so easily slips; derailed by a passing thought. I must choose to refocus. God is my peace. He has not slipped away. He is my resting place. To rest I must go to Him, over and over again, sometimes multiple times a minute.

I do hear His voice.  I will follow Him. (John 10: 3,4)

He leads me in places of peace and rest, provision even in the midst of hard times. (Psalm 23)

My body needs to be far busier than this last weekend, my mind more productive. This is no reason to let peace be run out of my life. I will hold onto rest. I can be busy without panic and fear. I can let go of my expectations and hold the hand of Jesus, my Savior, my Prince of Peace.

Question: What attacks your peace?

Challenge: Hold onto rest, peace or whatever promise of God is being attacked in your life right now.

The List That Matters

I am a list person.

I like to write lists, especially of things to do. Not so good at doing the lists, but I love to write them. It feels productive and clears out my head.

I was inspired last week by Amy Volk to write the list that matters. When I go to sleep at night, when another month or year has passed, when I’m ready to leave this world, what really matters?

My List That Matters

• Believe and receive God’s unfathomable love for me. This is hard, but I’m getting better.
• Live out my relationship with God honestly in front of my children. I want them to know God. It would break my heart for them to have a religion or a head filled with facts about God and not know him.
• Learn to communicate effectively. Practice with my husband and children. I struggle with know when and what to say. I guess that’s why I like to write, I can edit. My thoughts come out more clearly on paper than when I speak, too.
• Schedule time where no work, research, or internet is allowed. Even though I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom I think I would qualify as a workaholic. I am almost always with my children, but rarely 100%. I think this can be more damaging. If I was gone working they would not see me for a logical reason. How hard when I’m there but always “too busy” or have “things I need to get done”.
• Enjoy & bless my children. Each is such a precious gift. They have all entered double digits and I know my time is short. There is so much more I want to teach them, so much more I want to do with them. I want strong relationships with them so we will stay in relationship when they are grown.
• Practice gratitude. Focusing on the good is another area that needs lots of work. I will speak a grateful thought when I think it. I will look for things to be thankful for. Express specific thanks to my husband for the wonderful man he is.
• Make time for friends. Last year was very tough. Through the struggles and changes I did not create time to get together with friends, for me or my children. Time to start again.
• Pray instead of worrying or obsessing. I never thought I was a worrier. I don’t worry about big things. I worry about how I come across or how I’ll be received. I obsess about how to deal with something, or talk about something. This obsessing of mine I have come to see is worry. God has it all under control and supplies my every need, even the right words or strategies. I’m learning to walk in that truth.
• Equip my children for the victorious life Jesus suffered for them to have. Each of us was created for good works; know by God before time began. I want my children to know how they were made with personality strengths and weaknesses, gifting, interests, and skills. I want them to understand scripture and all God has in store for them. I want them to know his voice.
• Create a weekly time to refocus on this List That Matters.

Question: What’s on your list that matters? Do your actions match your list?

Challenge: Write your own List That Matters. Find one thing you change if life right now doesn’t match your list.

Out of Season- or Not?

Today as I was driving I saw pussy willows along the road. 

This happens every winter in Alaska. Sometime in February or March when most everyone thinks they can’t stand anymore winter we’ll have a warm spell. Some pussy willows will burst forth their soft fuzzy grey. Out in the woods some mosquitoes will hatch. I think its God reminding us that spring will indeed come, even though we have many more weeks of winter coming.

How often do I think a person, event, or message is out of season?  They don’t seem to fit; it’s not time for that now. A child. A marriage. A word. A ministry.

Perhaps they are meant to be sources of hope. Rather than judgment and confusion for those who seem out of season I should receive the encouragement that God has his own plan for all of us. His plan is not required to meet any human standard. None. Not time, logic, or least of all our plans or comfort.

Am I called to be out of season? Are you?

I believe we are. We are in a dark, lost world getting darker by the day – unless. Unless we who are the light will step out of the season of darkness, destruction and judgment with our light. Light always triumphs over darkness. Always.

Being out of season with the world should be easy. If it’s not perhaps we have forgotten we are light.

Being out of season with your family or church is much harder. Connection with the Father is so important when he calls you out of season. He sustains in all seasons. He can only sustain what is connected. He is the Vine. A branch in season or out will die apart from the vine.

Out of season but in His will is blessing. Blessing to me. Blessing to those who receive encouragement.

Committed

Friendship

Commitment

Fun

Sweet

Special

Loved

Wonderful

Blessed

For over 20 years we have been committed. Committed to one another. Committed to our future. Committed to our children. 

It's not always fun, it's not all been easy - yet so much easier because we were committed. We knew regardless of what hard thing life brought our way we were going through it together. 

There would still be us at the end.

How has commitment or lack of it affected your relationships? 

Doodling From This Week

While lesson time has been going really well, we have a routine that is working. Afternoons are another story. The above is my attempt at getting everything out of my head so I could let it go and rest in God's love for me - yet again.

I have too many things I want to do. Unrealistic expectations of what I can get done. Get lost in the things I want to do rather than need to do.

I’m learning to let go and look from God’s perspective. It helps me make better choices. I do more of what I need to do, what I really want to do, usually. I want to bless my family with an orderly home and decent meals. I feel guilty when I don’t, then I’m grouchy and not fun to be around, but it’s often my own fault.

So I let go and do what He says. What really needs to have my attention right now? I still have a LONG way to go, but I am letting go and resting. 

My One Word 2012 – Rest

I had this word, rest, before I heard of My One Word. I was reluctant to receive it at first. 2011 was a very tough year for me and my family. 

I need rest. When my husband mentioned 2012 as “a year of rest” however I inwardly went “Yeah, right! I wish.”  

Still it stuck with me and kept coming back to mind. One Sunday I realized I could have a year of rest if I chose to rest. God has offered his rest (Matt 11:28), but it does me no good if I don’t choose it. Just as he offers salvation to every soul who has ever lived, but it does them no good if they do not choose to accept it.

I spent most of 2011 waiting for some magical rest to descend upon me. God doesn’t normally work that way. He has made all the needed preparations.

 I must come. 

I must let go of everything but Jesus. 

So I choose to rest. 

It’s hard. Old habits are hard to break. Changing how I think and respond is tough, but oh so worth it.

I am learning about rest. I hope to encourage you to rest in the love of God as I share my journey. You  may want to consider your own One Word for 2012.

Eternal Encouragement Newsletter Review for Gabby Moms

"Dedicated to women who hunger and search for righteousness where the fruit is peace, quietness, confident trust, and a sparkle in her eye."

This is the mission of Lorrie Flem at Eternal Encouragement. She is a delightful lady.
Her newsletter Serenity for your Soul  is brief, honest and encouraging. Lorrie shares events and thoughts from her life so you know she's human, like this:

I told you I was having surgery last week. I did it because I really had no choice. The orthopedic surgeon gave me two choices, "Wear men's shoes or have surgery." Like I said, he gave me no choice. Now I am hobbling around in a new black boot; all of a sudden men's shoes have a brand new appeal to me!  

The scriptural message in this last newsletter is just what I need to remember. I can not do any of what I am called to do, much less all of it, unless I am relying on God's strength in Christ Jesus.
If you could use a little more encouragement, and a giggle or two, sign up for Serenity for your Soul at Eternal Encouragement.Scroll down a bit and fill in the form titled "Sign Up for Our Newsletter", easy and free :)


Disclaimer: As an official Gabby Mom I was asked to post this honest review. I do receive the newsletter, it is free so you can, too!

Random Thoughts

I have these ideas I want to record, write about, share.

Usually I write them down with hopes of getting them written up and fleshed out just perfect. However, I see that right now getting written down is impressive so I am going to post them as I jotted them down and hope to get back to them someday :)

God is big enough to start over with me whenever I chose to let him. My past can only hold me back if I hold onto it.

I cannot be denied when I am standing on God's Word, pursuing his promise and his presence.

Year of rest. It can only be a year of rest if I actually rest.

People's adverse reactions to our love or us does not mean we've done anything wrong. Look at Jesus!